Today’s Scripture readings:  Psalm 89:1-18, Jeremiah 16:10-21, Romans 7:1-12, John 6:1-15

Today’s writer: Katie Gencay 

It’s the night before this reflection will be made public, and I’m struggling. I have one perfectly adequate reflection in the works, but it’s focused on the “easy” passage from today’s readings. And in my heart I know that’s not what Lent is about. So, here I am. Ten minutes closer to publication, and still struggling.

I wrestle with passages like the one from Jeremiah 16:10-21, for lots of reasons: the primary one being that they force me to take a good hard look at the ways I have put my own understanding above God’s will for my life. I keep coming back to one particular phrase from verse 12: “Every one of you follows his stubborn, evil will, refusing to listen to me.”

As I wrote the beginnings of my first reflection, it became clear that I wasn’t opening myself up to really hearing God’s words– even at a time which had been set aside for meditation! How often have I taken an easier path, and chosen to disregard God’s true direction? How many times have I refused to listen? Although it’s uncomfortable and sometimes painful for me to face my many shortcomings, I feel truly blessed that I was called to reflect on something challenging as I continue my Lenten journey.

Through a recognition of my sins, I am allowed me to bask in that joyful, wondrous, and astounding truth: as imperfect as I am, God still loves me and God still forgives me. I’ll start the week with a thankful heart, even if I continue to struggle.