Why have you forsaken me?
by Kathleen Bullock

March 27, Friday – Psalms 95* & 22, 141, 143:1-11(12); Jeremiah 29:1, 4-13; Romans 11:13-24; John 11:1-27. or 12:1-10

Psalm 22 was one of the readings for the day. This Psalm was written by David during a time of great suffering that led to great joy. He also gave a very accurate picture of the sufferings of Christ. David believed that God would lead him out of despair. We both look forward to the day when God will rule the entire earth, that day of no more suffering and no more pain! So, this is Psalm 22 in my words.

My God, my God, why have you forsaken me?
Why are You not saving my family?
Why are You so far from my groaning lips?
Lord, Father, Jesus, and Holy Spirit, the Holy One, where are you? What are you doing? Why all this suffering and pain?
I call on You all day long!
Please rescue my family -the tossing and turning.
What a fabulous miracle this would be!
We would proclaim Your glorious power from the roof tops!
Our fathers put their trust in You.
You rescued me in the womb!
You have been our God since childhood.
You formed me, taught me to trust in You – to know that You,
Oh Lord, are trustworthy and true.
You have written Your word in my heart.
I was cast upon You from birth.
My mother had four older rambunctious boys and four younger siblings behind me, as well, and my father traveled constantly!
Thank You for being my God!
Lord, You know I have needed you my whole life and still do!
You also know that when my father died, then, 13 months later my brother died and 13 months later my sister died.
Most of the time I felt Your presence so clearly but other times I wondered if You had forsaken my family.
Many bulls surround me, encircling me.
The roaring lion that seeks to kill, steal and destroy was so close!
I know in my mind that is to be celebrated because they are going home to be with You.
But it feels like they are being ripped from my heart not to see them, to talk or to with laugh and even cry with them.
Three in a row!
When will this sorrow stop?
No it’s nothing like what Christ endured for me.
He is my Savior and I throw myself on His chest for comfort, for His energy and strength just to pick up my head to live another day.
Yes, it sounds dramatic, but some days it was more difficult to breath than when I had two collapsed lungs!
But Lord, You are faithful and You carried me!
And still do!
My heart did turn to wax and melt.
I am so reminded that we live in two worlds.
Ash Wednesday always reminds me that we are dust and to dust we shall return.
The veil is so thin!
That we walk in this world but our home is in the next with Christ our Savior.
My strength was gone some days.
They pierced Christ’s hands and feet!
Oh Father, how could you let them do this to Your son for me?
He was spotless and never sinned!
And for me, You allowed Him to be mocked, and insulted.
They stripped Him and divided his garments.
His hands and feet were pierced! Evil men surrounded my Savior!
Yes, Jesus trusted in the Father to rescue Him.
Where are You Father when life looks so hard?
And yet I know, You, Holy Spirit are right here with me, beside me, carrying me when I am to weak, walking beside me when I can walk– But always with me.
Be not far off!
You are my strength, come quickly to help me!
I need you now and every day!
Rescue me from myself, my selfishness, my self-pity, my pride, my insecurities, of thinking more highly of myself than I should.
Rescue me from the mouth of the Lion, save my precious family!
I will declare your holy name to my brothers and sisters, to all generations; in the congregation we will praise You!
We bow down before You to honor You and declare Your greatness to our descendants!
You listened to my cry and You rescued me from the pit!
I’m alive because You live and they live!
Shout Hallelujah to the Great God, The Lord Almighty!
He rescues us in our pain and weakness!
He comes after us and delivers us!
I sit at His table and He nourishes me.
We walk hand-in-hand, the Lover of my soul!
I will remember and turn to the Lord and bow down before Him, my God and my King, my Redeemer, my Savior, my Abba Father!

Image by Marc Brüneke (used by permission via Creative Commons).