by Stephen Green Daily Office Lectionary: December 4 – AM Psalm 18:1-20; PM Psalm 18:21-50; Isaiah 2:12-22; 1 Thessalonians 3:1-13; Luke 20:27-40
It seemed that God was leaving me in the dark to wander and to question everything: to watch as the structures of my life, the things I put faith in to be solid and unyielding, began to fall around me.
In 2012 I graduated with a B.A. in Christian Ministry, and I was ready to take on the world! Or so I thought…
Within a matter of weeks I began to realize that I didn’t quite have all the answer that I thought I had, and what I believed to be true about myself and about life was skewed.
I had been asking for a long time what God wanted me to do with my life, but I wasn’t getting any answers. It seemed that God was leaving me in the dark to wander and to question everything: to watch as the structures of my life, the things I put faith in to be solid and unyielding, began to fall around me.
The years that followed were full of painful circumstances, struggles, and waiting…waiting for God to come and rescue me. I thought I knew what I was waiting for God to do.
The Israelites in captivity thought they knew what they were waiting for as well. They thought that they were waiting on another “Judge” to come in and lead the tribes to war against their captors, just like in the ancient days. They thought they would be receiving a conquering king who would usher them into a new era of prosperity and create Israel into a major world power. Instead they got a baby in a manger. A baby that would one day ride a donkey up to the city of His death and create a new Israel that would transcend blood and boundaries.
We don’t always know what God has in store for us, but we often have expectations of what that should be. When God reveals His plan, however, it is rarely what we want it to be. I think sometimes we miss God’s working in our lives because we refuse to see what He gives, and we keep asking for what we expect.
I now live in Missouri, making less money than ever and working harder than I could have expected, and yet I know that this was what I was waiting for. This is where God wants me and it is NOTHING like I was expecting! Haha! But I am blessed and I am growing more than ever!
My waiting, however, is not over. Daily I find myself waiting on the Lord to come and teach me, to renew me, to grant me the strength to continue in love and war for the hearts and souls that I live with. I am waiting for Him to tell me where I am to go next; waiting for Him to continue this process of redemption and reconciliation where He has placed me. I watch and I wait upon the Lord for He is good, and He hears the cries of His people and He does not turn a deaf ear to them.
Image by George F (used by permission via Creative Commons).